“What if we read the story of Adam and Eve with different eyes? What if we stop reading it through the lens of popular assumption and allow it to speak in a different way? What if it isn’t an account of punishment for one monumental mistake, but a fable-like wisdom story about humans graduating, evolving from the relatively uncomplicated existence of animal innocence to the messy experience of moral responsibility? What if Adam and Eve didn’t fall? What if they were pushed? What if the voice of God in the story is a poignant warning about what lies ahead for a more highly evolved species than a straight-faced prohibition? What, in short, if we read the story with irony instead of literalism, with a grin rather a grimace, as wisdom instead of dogma?Hard work, sexual intimacy, parenthood, a sense of mortality, the knowledge of good and evil – these are the sort of things that make humans different to other creatures in a positive way. They present challenges and demands, and bring anxieties, but they are also the ultimate source of imagination, creativity, rewarding struggle and achievement. In order for humans to be human, the fruit had to be eaten…Thus the story of Eden is not about paradise lost, but about paradise outgrown.”
— Dave Tomlinson, The Bad Christian’s Manifesto: Reinventing God
“Shh, it’s alright,” the villain said. “You’re doing beautifully and I’m so proud of you. But that’s enough now. It was cruel of them to make you fight me – you could never have won. It’s not your fault.”
The ancient and powerful villain may have had a calm and gentle face as he spoke, but he was furious, not at the hero, but the gods for continually sending kids and teenagers to fight their battles.
Thanos, a philosophy and economics double major who thinks once you eat a plant it will never grow back: i have to slaughter half the universe’s population with the infinity stones, so that no one ever runs out of resources and starves
Thor, a phys ed and linguistics major with a minor in women’s studies, taking a sip of his strawberry protein shake: can’t you just use the infinity stones to create more resources tho?
“Gotta get me one of those black bath bombs so I can dramatically emerge from the water like I’m rising from the pits of hell. You know, self care.”
-Slytherin
“Gotta get me one of those red bath bombs so I can heroically stand up, clutching an imaginary wound, like I’ve just fought a bloody battle and saved an entire city. Makes me feel good about myself.”
-Gryffindor
“Gotta get me one of those dark blue bath bombs filled with golden sparkles so I can slowly peer out from the starry sky from which I was born. Because if I don’t do it who else will?”
Goldnwulf 