Many people like to assume that all of history has been a progression from “it sucked back then because people were ignorant savages” to “everything’s great now!”
But honestly, that’s not how it works.
I mean, take Egypt. For many thousands of years, Egypt was…actually a pretty great place to live, and TBH women there had better rights than we enjoy in many parts of the world today. The medical care? They used techniques in Egypt 3,000 years ago that we’re looking at now and going “Okay so that actually has some legitimate points, maybe they knew what they were doing.”
(I mean, sure, they also used crocodile dung as a contraceptive, but hey, the Pill hadn’t been invented yet.)
The Scythians…again. Life with them? I’d be okay with it.
I mean, if you get salmonella, trichinosis and infection from C. pneumonia at once- all three of which Nile Crocodiles carry -you’re probably not gonna stay pregnant. This could potentially be because you are dead, but it does count.
True.
(They used it to make a pessiary, btw. They dried it, powdered it, and mixed it with honey and sodium carbonate, or what is now known as washing soda. Now, the honey and washing soda probably DID kill sperm, much like a modern spermicide, but the dung???? Yeah that didn’t do much.)
Other methods of Egyptian birth control involved condoms made of animal intestines (which were used more because they protected from VD’s, to be fair)
If you couldn’t get crocodile dung, ground unripe acacia fruit and honey could be used to make the spermicide. Unripe acacia fruit is acidic, (as is honey) and sperm are killed in acidic environments, so it probably did help.
Egypt was LEGENDARY for its advancement during that period of history! And compared to many other civilizations at the time, women were indeed in a very good place! I think they could even own property, own and run businesses, and divorce their husbands but I’m not sure. As a man you were expected to keep your wife happy and provide for her, I know that much.
But it’s even wilder. Get this: they had a pregnancy test. They would have a woman urinate on a handful of grain. If it sprouted, she was pregnant. If it didn’t, she wasn’t.
It was 70% accurate.
NO BUT LISTEN
WHAT THEY DID??? They moistened a grain of barley and a grain of emmer wheat with the possibly pregnant person’s urine. If the emmer alone sprouted, it was positive. If the barley sprouted, it was negative.
NOW HERE’S THE WILD PART; certain hormones in the urine of a pregnant human inhibit germination in barley.
WE’VE JUST NOW FIGURED THAT PART OUT
In ancient Egypt? They didn’t know why it worked. They just knew it DID.
I KNOW IT’S SO COOL
People don’t seem to really grasp the fact that this one civilization existed for more than half of recorded human history. They had plenty of time to figure this shit out and become one of the greatest civilizations ever.
I love them so much ;u;
“Living in Egypt for most of history would have been pretty good actually.” -My history teacher during “History; ancient to early modern, part 1″ in college.
Fun story my history teacher told us: his grandfather during the industrial revolution walked past a flyer which said “looking for smart strong boys” so he went into the factory, said “i’m strong and smart”, and he had that job from age 13 to 78
and this is why they expect the younger generation to simply “get a job” ahh it’s so much clearer now
Here’s another fun story: My boss decided to slap my work phone number on all the ads we post looking for newspaper carriers. So I receive a bunch of calls from people looking for jobs. Working only part time, I’m not usually there when they call, so they have to leave a message and I take their info to pass on to my boss. Sometimes it can be weeks before my boss calls any of these applicants back, if at all. How the callers respond to not getting a callback varies. Most don’t do anything, but some call again. If the person sounds young, they may leave another message clarifying their qualifications and reaffirming their interest. If the person is old, and I can always hear it in their voice, they respond by getting mad, threatening to cancel their newspaper subscription, and occasionally swearing. The older generation is used to getting a callback, and an immediate one, so they throw a tantrum when they don’t get what they want.
And everyone calls Millennials entitled.
Mind. Blown.
This is great info, but the way the headline is phrased made it sound like they got the job of being a grandfather by walking right up and just asking
“And if your eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away.”
“Jesus, how can I avoid sin when all these hussies keep revealing the fact that they have bodies?!”
“Hmmm, tough call bro. Have you tried gouging out your eyes so you don’t have to see all those bodies anymore?”
“wut”
“What?”
“Shouldn’t you tell them to… stop dressing like that or something?”
“Don’t see why. It’s not their fault that the fact that they have bodies makes you a fucking sinful horndog. Gotta fix that problem yourself, buddy. Go on, blind yourself.”
“Uh….”
“Or learn to keep it in your g’damn pants no matter what they’re wearing.”
He goes on for like several examples too.
“How can I avoid like, an accidental slip of the hand when…they’re dressin like that?”
“Cut it off.”
“wut”
“Cut it off. Your hand. If it’s a problem, stop having a hand.”
“wut”
“What”
“Did I fucking stutter?”
And for our variety hour, here’s some nice things about Jesus
Y’know what I hate about growing up Christian? Or even just growing up in a Christian dominated country? I didn’t know that people believed in polytheistic religions, because it was so engrained in my head that those were mythologies and therefore myths. I didn’t even know the bible was also considered mythology until I was 21. I had been molded to believe that Christianity was real, not myths, but polytheistic religions were not. I wanted to believe in ancient mythologies for a long time because let’s be real, they’re just… wonderful, in their own right; but I was so far convinced that the idea of Greek mythology or Egyptian mythology was just tales from ancient people that had died out forever ago.
We never really died out. We just exist in the shadow of the Abrahamic religions.
Goldnwulf 