Once every few months I think ‘hmm, I haven’t watched Les Mis in a while’ then I put it on and it all comes back… the person I was in 2012, Hadley’s moustache, the colour of dis bear, the anger I feel towards Tom Hooper every time my favourite lines get cut, calling grown men precious, anger at Tom Hooper for the horrible casting, praising Tom Hooper for the perfect casting, pointing out every single cameo and telling your family exactly who they are and who they played in the west end cast, “knock knock…Who’s there?? French Revolution”, thanking the universe for George Blagden, crying because Colm Wilkinson, HOW DARE YOU, “there’s a cow”, WE NEED AS MAUCH FERNITURE AS YEW CAN THREW DEWN, that one piece of singing between Tveit and Hadley in the final battle where you’re just like…. oh that’s how it’s supposed to sound, they died holding hands, that stupid song that was just in there as an oscar grab but it was terrible, I can’t believe they cut most of drink with me
“The world is indeed full of peril, and in it there are many dark places; but still there is much that is fair, and though in all lands love is now mingled with grief, it grows perhaps the greater.”
I went to an AA meeting once, after I stood up and shared about you, people came up to me, hardcore addicts, and they were like, “Wow, man, no wonder you use.”
Tony Stark??? Nah what an asshole. He’s so- [trips] [Thousands of photos of Tony Stark fall out of my jacket] W-what a fucking piece of shit- I- These aren’t mine- I’m just- [Gathering them up while sweating frantically] Listen- I just- listen- fuck [Photos of Tony Stark scatter across the floor] Shit- Fuck- I’m holding them for a friend- just listen
He does get less mysterious! I mean, it becomes more public knowledge that his deal is World’s Greatest Detective, and not Giant Shadow Monster. But there are still very popular Jekyll and Hyde theories, and vampire theories, and werebat theories. And shadow powers are never entirely ruled out by the general populace. Or by Barry.
okay but that transitional period must have been insane. like. imagine if interpol had a conference and they were like ‘we’re switching out all our k-9 service dogs for chupacabra’, and there was this really long pause before a reporter goes, ‘excuse me, WHAT.’ and then everyone loses their shit. oh, yes, chupacabra are real. they’re very nice actually once you get to know them. they are in fact bloodthirsty creatures of the night but perfectly willing to cooperate with international security measures. here is one now. we’ve trained him to wave politely for the cameras.
like, here’s superman and wonder woman, everyone knows they’re heroes, everyone knows they’re badasses. but there they are standing right next to THE BATMAN, gotham’s weirdest fucking phenomenon, like they didn’t somehow talk a grim shadow made of vengeance and vampire magic into a photo op.
tbh i like to imagine that he still manages to avoid all photo ops and it’s extremely frustrating for everyone who isn’t batman
like “well they SAY batman was working with the league, but there’s only this one single picture with a big black blur behind everyone else, so maybe he just showed up and they’re trying to cover their asses??”
carefully positioning himself according to the time of day where he knows the lighting will be shit because it is exactly where a photographer would ask bruce wayne to please not stand
theories that batman is LITERALLY superman’s shadow because supes is a very convenient camera shield
good luck trying to get an action shot, it’s nothing but cape. is this a picture of batman fighting a kraken, or is it the world’s gothest shower curtain caught in a hurricane?? it’s impossible to be sure but take a lot of pictures and slap CONFIRMED on them anyway
what if it’s like how sometimes people try to sell everyone on melanistic lions and tigers. what if people just start photoshopping the lighting on superman all the way down and going CONFIRMED. what if that’s the hot new meme. just take a random JLA photo and burn-tool the absolute living fuck out of wonder woman or the martian manhunter or a stop sign and be like IT’S BATMAN.
Goldnwulf 