dumac-dwarfking:

willowchord:

why the fuck does nirnroot scream all the time

listen pal a screaming plant isn’t the weirdest thing in tes lore by FAR

dumac-dwarfking:

brandshei:

cliffracer:

skyrim-hates-her:

brandshei:

Hot take: it’s all good fun as a fandom joke…but in-game, The Lusty Argonian Maid is wildly exploitative, and its enduring popularity speaks to Tamriel’s inability to see Argonians as anything more than a servant class.

the title itself is a little off-putting to me because the maid is an innocent character just doing her job. the baron is the lusty one.

The Lusty Argonian Maid was a product of the time it was written- that is, a little bit before the events of Morrowind the game, 3E 427. Crassius Curio was a councillor of House Hlaalu, and therefore was pretty ingrained in Dunmer culture at the time. Dunmer culture, as a reminder, being totally fine with having Argonian slaves at the time (note that there were questlines to aid abolitionist groups during the events of the game.) 

Also the baron in The Lusty Argonian Maid acts you get to read as a player is named Crantius Colto. Like, it’s pretty obvious Crassius just wanted to write self-insert smut with a fictional Argonian so it could be performed on-stage later.

This kinda doesn’t excuse how Argonians are treated in Skyrim but we’re all well aware of the racism present in Stormcloak culture sooo

IMO the context is precisely what makes it so horrifying.

This isn’t just a naughty comedy about a rich guy hooking up with his servant (cf. today’s genre of babysitter porn).  Curio is a high-ranking official in 3E Morrowind.  Writing about an Argonian “maid.”  And sure, Hlaalu was the least pro-slavery of the great houses, so it’s not out of the question that Lifts-Her-Tail is a free woman, but the strong cultural implication is that she’s either a slave or something awfully close to it.  And that…that takes the work’s power differential from “slightly creepy” to “super rapey.”

There’s something to be said about how oppression and sexual objectification go hand-in-hand – how often members of powerful groups want to fuck the very people they hate.  Hell, I imagine the popularity of The Real Barenziah is similarly tied to how it reinforces stereotypes of how dark elf women are “loose.”  So its prevalence is not unrealistic.  It’s just very, very dark.

Again, I’m not here to come after anyone who treats the book as a jokey meme.  It’s video game erotica about sex with a giant lizard-woman; that’s pretty hilarious.  But I’m judgmental af about any NPC who has it by their bedside.

(And now I’m imagining a genre of erotica in which Argonians try to reclaim their sexuality and reimagine kinky power differentials in healthy ways…but that’s a thought experiment for a different day.)

there’s a spin-off book too called the “sultry argonian bard” and it’s basically just a gender-swapped version of “maid” but they use instruments in their double-entendres.

kaizel:

ptomlins:

Necromancer: Did you know that dinosaur skeletons in museums are usually fake casts?

Someone: Did the Internet tell you that?

Necromancer: Nope, just a series of disappointing museum trips.

@editorincreeps

dumac-dwarfking:

nerevar-shid-and-fard:

as much of a dickhead as he is, ulfric has a surprising sense of honour and respect for the greybeards. even if he used it to incapacitate the guy, i doubt he would have used the thu’um to actually kill him.
i don’t really trust elisif or stentor for that matter. elisif probably doesn’t remember all the details right because she was so distraught to see it unfold. sybille stentor is also a literal vampire who’s deceiving an entire hold so you tell me if she’s really a good source of information

EDIT: torryg says ulfric only “unleashed that terrible voice” or whatever when you meet him in sovngarde but be never says it’s what killed him. the rest of his dialogue is just about how he misses elisif and then it’s just the generic “the world-eater waits in the mist” dialogue