geekybibliophile:

thestrugglingarchaeologist:

somecunttookmyurl:

somecunttookmyurl:

somecunttookmyurl:

Listen my dudes Ancient Egypt existed for a really fuckass long time. Literally just Pharaonic civilization lasted 3,000 years. That’s not even including predynastic civilization and Roman rule. If you lump that in you’re looking at more like… 5,000 years.

Like. If you want a comparison of how long that is: THE YEAR IS CURRENTLY 2018. TWO THOUSAND. TWO-THIRDS OF ANCIENT EGYPTIAN PHARAONIC CIVILIZATION HAVE HAPPENED SINCE THE ‘BIRTH OF JESUS CHRIST’

We comparatively just entered the Third Intermediate Period. The Greeks will not take over for another 700~ years. Cleopatra will not be born until the year 2931.

It’s a really long time guys.

Anyway look. Listen. I sat my ass down and wrote out a timeline of “when shit happened if you started at 1AD” because I know backwards numbers are hard to process but here’s an abridged version.

If the first Egyptian Pharaoh came to power in 1AD then…

300: step pyramid built

450: Great Pyramid at Giza built

815: Pepi II dies and civil war breaks out

950: Egypt re-unified

1350: Middle Kingdom ends

1450: New Kingdom begins

1520: Hatshepsut is on the throne

1650: Ahkenaten switches to monotheistic religion and builds a new city

1680: Tutankhamun dies

1720: Ramesses II ‘the great’ ascends to the throne

1740: World’s first peace treaty signed
1790: Ramesses II dies leaving way too many children

1920: Egypt breaks into 2 states again

And now we get to ~~~~the future~~~~. If we started at 1AD all of this stuff hasn’t happened yet

2050: Briefly re-united as a single state

2180: Civil war
2250: Nubian kings take over

2335: Assyrian conquest

2665: Alexander the Great conquers Egypt

2930: Cleopatra VII born

2970: Cleopatra VII dies. Egypt falls to Rome. Fin.

And that’s just starting with the Pharaohs. If you wanted to start with Predynastic Egypt, you can go ahead and ADD ONE THOUSAND YEARS to all of those dates

I hate that this is still getting notes but that it’s getting notes *without the timeline addition* like c’mon, man. I had to do MATHS for this. I DID MATHS FOR YOU PEOPLE AND ALL I GOT WAS A BUNCH OF RACISTS

THEY DID MATHS FOR YOU

@zombeesknees

wemblingfool:

standinthefire:

cousinnick:

bogleech:

Don’t feel bad if you’re sensitive to negative feedback because apparently after one particular bad review Hans Christian Andersen was found just sobbing while lying face down in the dirt

YOU LEFT OUT THE BEST PART THOUGH! HE WAS CRYING FACE DOWN IN THE DIRT IN CHARLES DICKENSEN´S YARD!!

WHERE HE HAD BEEN STAYING FOR WEEKS, LONG OVERSTAYING HIS WELCOME, AND WAS ANNOYING THE FUCK OUT OF DICKENS

Dickens: Where’s Anderson…?

*peeks out the window*

Anderson:

Dickens:

alrightevans:

just some little pride and prejudice (2005) things i love

• the sense of chaotic female energy in the Bennet household
• the sound of tinkling piano music and bird song and giggling 
• when Jane tries to pull a ‘not all men’ on Lizzy but Lizzy is havin none of it and calls all men humourless poppycocks  
• Lizzy’s satisfied smirk as she STRIDES away after sending mr darcy 2 his grave with ‘even if one’s partner is barely tolerable’ 
• Lizzy and Jane giggling under the covers 😭
• Mrs Bennet discussing Mr Bennets imposing death over the breakfast table and nobody bats an eyelid except to be like ‘its 10am’  like this obviously happens A Lot 
• And then Mr Bennet and lizzy joke about Jane dying like why does this Regency era family have the humour of millennials  
• when Darcy is listing all the things an accomplished woman should have and he says ‘she should expand her mind with extensive reading’ or w.e and lizzy SNAPS that book shut so fast
• the Mrs Bennet Pig Testicle Scene Nobody Talks About 
• the hand 
• after Mr Collins proposal when Mrs Bennet goes to Mr Bennet for help and he’s just like up a ladder ? And all he does up there is pick up a pot plant? I’m thoroughly convinced he just climbed that ladder to avoid the drama ((he failed))
• the dramatic ZOOM when Darcy bursts into the room just to stand around, make one line of polite conversation, and then leave
• m not going to comment abt the rain scene bc theres too much to unpack but THE RAIN SCENE 
• ‘He’s so. he’s so… he’s so RICH’ i feel u girl 
• The dreamy shots of Pemberley + dreamy music music layered with Darcy’s housekeeper saying lovely things about him like you know Lizzy was falling in love with him right then and there even tho he wasn’t even in the room
• All the ripped statues probably help
•  Shame that the scene where Darcy sees Lizzy at Pemberly for the first time will be forever ruined because all i can hear in my head is RUN 
• Turns up in the middle of the night, invites self in, insults the size of the garden….. an icon 
• The fact that the entire Bennet family listening in to private conversations at the door is a recurring theme 
• “i love… i love… i love you”
• the last scene of Lizzy and her dad laughing and crying at how in love she is is the goodest purest scene and in This House we don’t speak of the american alternate ending