You know we’re in the dark timeline when Stephenie Meyer has minded her own damned business for years and J.K. Rowling keeps tumbling down the metaphorical steps of murdering her own universe and personal character in the public eye for everyone to see.
Like, if in 2008 you had told me Stephenie Meyer would quietly retire and stay in her lane instead of continuing to write weird Mormon fantasy with nothing but white characters and J.K. Rowling would be on Twitter spouting some shit like “THE GOBLET OF FIRE WAS ACTUALLY ONCE A TRANS WOMAN, I’VE BEEN SITTING ON THIS SINCE 1986!” I’d say you were a fucking liar.
rewatch pride & prejudice (2005 or 1995, your pick)
take a long shower & shave legs
stare at face in mirror for a long time, reflect on changes that have occured in past year
sara bareilles cd on repeat
“deep mystery”
lying on the floor listening to music you liked fifteen years ago
watch dust motes travel across the room in the late afternoon haze
what would be different about my life if i had been a cheerleader in high school?
what was the title of that book you read in the fourth grade? you only remember the main character’s name and nothing about the plot. you spend the next three hours googling and then you drop $60 for a first edition on ebay
cup of tea, then another
are you there god?
“efficiency”
take out five boxes of paperwork from the closet and spend the next three hours making small piles around your body on the floor
write first chapter of novel
cover wall in post it notes
lists lists lists
highlight everything
now’s a good time to start that bullet journal
must empty email inbox
plan out next five years of life down to the month, week, day
“shake it up”
blast nsync while scrubbing out microwave
rearrange living room four different ways
today’s a good day to repaint your bedroom
let’s research and plan a trip to san francisco
develop new fashion style, must throw away all items of clothes that don’t work with it
y’all: peter was able to stop bucky’s fist in civil war bc bucky heard peter’s voice, realized he was a child, then weakened his punch bc he was so worried about hurting a child uwu
me, eating pistachios: y’all know peter can canonically lift up to 75 tons, right. y’all know bucky’s fist is easy as hell for peter to block, right. y’all know bucky didn’t know shit about peter being a child and was just shocked that someone was able to so easily block his punch, right. y’all know that, right.
naw fuck that bucky’s punches aren’t easy to block, it’s WAY funnier if peter blocked a full force punch from bucky, who only a few seconds later realizes he’s a kid as soon as peter opens his mouth
that’s the face of a man who went from “holy shit he blocked my punch?” to “holY SHiT a 12 YEARoLD BLOCKED mY PUNCH???” in 3 seconds flat.
concept: we bring back an animorphs tv show. they’re hour-long episodes, so each episode can cover 1 book, including megamorphs and the animorphs chronicles. it still takes place in the 90s so we can bring in double the nostalgia factor (people who read the books & people who lived through the 90s). the effects can be better done this time around and everyone will enjoy it
Goldnwulf 