“Girls want a Superman, but they walk past a Clark Kent every day”
You fuckin CLOWNS think you’re a CLARK KENT? Not on my fuckin watch. You dumb, headass motherfuckers are barely a Guy Gardner and you think you’re a CLARK KENT? The amount of disrespect is unreal.
Listen here, wannabes: My boi Clark is 240 lbs of PURE KANSAS BEEF trained from a young age by Ma Kent to Love and Respect women as the Intelligent, Independent beings they are. He is shy rambling about tractors and casually moving the copy machine when my pen falls behind it and he would NEVER demand I be sexually or romantically interested just because he’s nice.
Y’all ain’t Clark Kent.
I have never hit the reblog button so damn fast.
“barely a Guy Gardner” is the sickest comics related burn I’ve heard to date.
I agree john mulaney is probably an immortal akin to beings such as keanu reeves and jeff goldblum but he’s like a new born baby immortal who is looking at the long long expanse of a lifetime he has in front of him and is already tired
jeff golblum is thousands of years old and loving it. john mulaney was born in 1901 and ever since 1924 it’s gone downhill for him
So to be clear, the immortal timeline seems to be:
John Mulaney – early 20th century
Eric Andre – Probably 17th century or so.
Taika Waititi – Elizabethan age, probably hung out with Shakespeare
Keanu Reeves – We think sometime around Alexander the Great, but he seems to have just sprung up fully formed.
Jeff Goldblum – 100% Biblical times, may or may not be King Solomon.
Tommy Wiseau – Indeterminate, may be the first Homo Sapiens.
this is david lynch erasure
Who are the female immortals?
Jenny Slate – Jazz Age Darling, bffs with Alice Roosevelt
Helena Bonham Carter – Refused an invitation to dine with Queen Victoria based on her treatment of the Irish
Lucy Liu – ran away from home to join Ching Shih, 19th century Pirate Queen’s crew. Was considered too soft for fighting and was given an accordion
Bjork – 14th century Icelandic healer accused of witchcraft, also possibly a selkie
Whoopie Goldberg – present during the Conquest of Constantinople but don’t bring it up around her, it’s too fresh in her mind
Tilda Swinton – found sleeping in a peat bog. Carbon dating inconclusive
PLEASE IF YOU KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT WHERE MY HUSBAND IS SHARE IT WITH ME OR THE MASON OHIO PD
PLEASE SHARE THIS POST TO HELP FIND MY HUSBAND
Dillon Alexander Williams went to Kings Island with me and my mother Melanie Dean but is now nowhere to be found. Last time I saw him was at the Build a Bear in Kings Island and he seemed completely fine. After hours of security searching they discovered my husband was no longer in the park and hadn’t been since 11 am. He was seen on camera walking out of the park, through the Soak City parking lot and out towards the Sunoco on the other side of the street.
He was last seen wearing black jeans, pink converse, a red and black Deadpool letterman jacket and a Marie the cat beanie like in the pictures I’ve provided.
I’ve been asking around and no one has seen him. This is legitimately the most terrifying thing I’ve ever experienced in my life, please, if you have ANY info call the Mason PD or send me a PM on here. I just want my husband home.
I called the Mason PD myself and asked if there was a missing persons report on Dillon Williams and /yes/ there is an actual report and search going on for this guy. So it’s not made up that he’s missing.
HEY GUYS I DID MORE DIGGING ON THIS AND GOT IN TOUCH WITH DILLON’S MOTHER
He’s not missing, its a false police report. He’s trying to get away from his wife.
Obviously I asked permission to post these screenshots of the conversation I had with his mother. He is not missing. OP is trying to use Tumblr and Facebook and stranger’s lack of knowledge of the family and situation to find him and control and further abuse him.
A lot of people reblogged this from me earlier, I’d really appreciate if you reblogged this instead!
Saw another post by OP on this and they’re giving updates that this person is mentally unstable and should not be informed when they are spotted in fear that they will run off-
Seeing this conversation that he isn’t actually missing and just running from OP makes their comment of ‘don’t tell them you know they’re there just tell the police and I’ll find him’ is disgusting-
Goldnwulf 