thoodleoo:

• when alexander first saw bucephalus and found out that his dad philip didn’t want to buy the horse because he was unmanageable, he kept saying that it sure would be a shame to give up such an awesome horse
• he kept saying this until philip was like well alex do you think you’re so great that you can tame this horse
• of course alexander said yes
• alexander tamed this Troubled Horse Who Lets No One Else Handle Him by being gentle to him and and turning him away from his shadow
• literally like a Horse Girl Movie ™
• philip was so amazed by this that he told alex that macedonia was clearly too small of a kingdom for him
• in the words of a delightful ode to bucephalus, “fuck you, dad”
• bucephalus became alexander’s favorite horse whom he loved without equal and who wouldn’t let anyone else ride him
• one time bucephalus got kidnapped by persians and alexander freaked the fuck out
• he promised that he would cut down every tree, burn all the crops he found, and kill every living creature until he got his horse back
• needless to say, bucephalus was returned along with a plea for mercy
• bucephalus then supposedly lived to be about 30 years old which is pretty long for an ancient horse
• when he died alexander was so upset that he named a city bucephala after him
• that’s right, a city named after his horse
• somebody please make a Horse Girl Movie ™ about alex g

fitchris25:

NO. STOP.

FOOD AND GUILT DO NOT GO TOGETHER.

You didn’t “cheat”. You did nothing “wrong”. You did nothing that should bring about the emotion of guilt.

When you do something to hurt a friend, you should feel guilty. When you cheat on an exam, you should feel guilty. When you take something that is not yours, you should feel guilty.

But when you put an extra tablespoon of peanut butter on your banana? Or you have a few glasses of wine? Or you eat an entire pizza?

No. No guilt.

FOOD AND GUILT DO NOT GO TOGETHER.

Failing to eat according to your goals can be frustrating. But there’s no reason to beat yourself up about it or feel guilty like you did something wrong. 

There is nothing “wrong” about eating any kind of food.

It’s a process. Move forward. Continue towards your goals. You will succeed. It’s all about consistency. 

FOOD AND GUILT DO NOT GO TOGETHER.

fatmomsgetfit:

chronically-something:

kelssiel:

cool concept: demons and monsters being defeated by disabilities

-a demon waits to scare a woman as she opens her eyes she doesn’t notice because she’s blind

-the boogeyman grabs the child’s ankle as they climb put of bed, it’s prosthetic the child doesn’t notice

-sirens fail to lure the deaf sailor for obvious reasons

-the schizophrenic doesn’t pay any attention to the demons telling them to do things because it’s the same shit as always

-the demon screams in frustration as the guy with ADHD he’s possessed keeps forgetting that he came into the kitchen to kill his family not wash the dishes

-the devil tries to create an unholy union to give birth to the anti-christ he is thwarted by the man’s severe anxiety disorder

-demons try to torture a person with chronic pain who just thinks they’re having a bad pain day

Can we kickstart your script writing career right now? Cause ….

Can I do the story board?

oddishodyssey:

fatmomsgetfit:

fatmomsgetfit:

“Wow! You’ve lost a lot of weight! What’s your secret?”

“Diet and exercise.”

“Yeah… but what’s your SEEECRET?”
😒

Tapeworms
Essential oils
Coconut oil
Water
Mind over matter
Stars lined up
I joined the avengers
Pole dancing
Took a really big poop this morning
Good lighting

The last 5 killed me and the poop one is the best comeback EVER