“22 year old puts on bat costume to punch criminals, has no powers” is hard enough to wrap your head around but throw in “24 year old adopts 12 year old who also punches criminals, has no powers” and that is not something that would ever occur to anyone
like OBVIOUSLY batman must be an older man who knows what he’s doing, and not just some traumatized 20-something accidentally collecting traumatized children
haha wow referring to bruce wayne as a 20-something really puts things in perspective. batman: probably actually younger than joey from friends.
i am enjoying how completely horrified everyone is by this thought
to elaborate on my preferred timeline it goes:
orphaned at 12 (consistent with how his ptsd manifests)
tested out of high school and accepted into yale at 16 (because he is an overachieving type a motherfucker who channels his survivor’s guilt into being The Best)
spends six years at yale getting a jd/mba and using all his free time to travel the world and learn punches
ready to take over the family biz at 22
“hello alfred i am back from yale here are all of my fancy degrees ps i’m going to dress like a bat now good luck talking me out of it i’m technically a lawyer now lol”
TWENTY-TWO YEAR OLD BATMAN. TWENTY-THREE YEAR OLD BATMAN. GOING IT ALONE. IT’S JUST HIM.
this is probably when he is most nolan-esque because have you ever met a man in his early twenties who thinks it’s his job to save the world
they’re the fucking worst
TWENTY-FOUR YEAR OLD BATMAN MEETS A TWELVE YEAR OLD WHO JUST WATCHED HIS PARENTS DIE
twelve year old mistakenly assumes someone who is 24 is a grownup, no one corrects him
the fact that either of them survive is a miracle even before you take the night job into account, thank god for alfred or they would probably get scurvy
i told you that just so you would understand how i have justified it when i tell you that this makes Batman during his first year with Robin younger than:
and here’s a reproduction of the statue with the colors restored
i honestly think that what we consider the height of sculpture in all of Western civilization being essentially the leftover templates of gaudy pieces of theme park shit to be evidence of the potential merit of found art
“I tried coloring it and then I ruined it”
And you know what the funniest part is? The paint didn’t just wear off over time. A bunch of asshole British historians back in the Victorian era actually went around scrubbing the remaining paint off of Greek and Roman statues – often destroying the fine details of the carving in the process – because the bright colours didn’t fit the dignified image they wished to present of the the cultures they claimed to be heirs to. This process also removed visible evidence of the fact that at least some of the statues thus stripped of paint had originally depicted non-white individuals.
Whenever you look at a Roman statue with a bare marble face, you’re looking at the face of imperialist historical revisionism.
(The missing noses on a lot of Egyptian statues are a similar deal. It’s not that the ancient Egyptians made statues with strangely fragile noses. Many Victorian archaeologists had a habit of chipping the noses off of the statues they brought back, then claiming that they’d found them that way – because with the noses intact, it was too obvious that the statues were meant to depict individuals of black African descent.)
Sorry, I keep reblogging this over and over, the last comment is unbelievable. Wow.
In honor of Lord Byron’s birthday I would like to remind you all of the time that Shelley and Keats, having not heard from him for some time, became concerned for his safety and it was determined that Shelley would go looking for him. Keats received a letter some time later that Shelley had found him in Venice, where he’d been having so much sex that he’d nearly died from malnourishment and dehydration. Keats’ entire response amounted to essentially, “You should probably have let him.”
“I found him, he’s in a gutter.” “Well go put him back”
“because we’re delta airlines / and life is a fucking nightmare”
“SCATTER!!!!!!!!”
“…which is some racist-ass bullshit, but also incredibly well coordinated for a group of thirteen year olds”
“i’m a little fat girl”
“the best thing about that was that after that, cars were pulling up and looking over to see who just did that piece of shit move, expecting to see like a 100-year-old blind dog who’s texting while driving and drinking a smoothie, instead they see a 28-year-old healthy man trying his best”
“and i was the ONE pre-y2k asshole going ‘and also with you!’”
“Don’t you have to do a shift at school tomorrow?” *drinking like it’s the end of the world* “Ehhhh, I’ll just show a video.” “That’s why teachers show videos?!”
Goldnwulf 