“I bring word from Lord Elrond of Rivendell. An Alliance once existed between Elves and Men. Long ago we fought and died together. We come to honor that allegiance”
One of the most hilarious things I’ve ever read in the Lord of the Rings books was when Eomer first meets Aragorn, Gimli and Legolas. At one point, he explains that when the Men of the Mark refused to sell Sauron their horses, the Dark Lord sent plundering Orcs to steal some anyway.
BUT ONLY THE BLACK ONES.
LIKE
YEAH!! GOING TO WAR WITH ALL THE FREE PEOPLES OF MIDDLE EARTH, BUT I AIN’T GONNA FORSAKE THAT AESTHETIC!!!
How edgy of you, Sauron. I might just get a cut from all your sharp corners.
to this day, the scariest part out of any of the lord of the rings movie still is that fucking nightmarish face that bilbo made when he tried to take the one ring back from frodo
Oh my gosh, the day I spent watching Lord of the Rings with commentary is finally paying off, because the Bilbo nightmare face is the center of why I love Fellowship a little more than the other movies.
So before Lord of the Rings became the CGI carpet bombing that we all know and love (see Legolas elephant surfing), the first movie was obsessed with practical effects to an unsettling degree. Perspective tricks (when Gandalf and Bilbo have tea they’re actually at two separate tables with the camera at an angle to make it look like one table – at one point Ian McKellen bumps his side of the table with his knee and only his side of the table wobbles), miniatures, makeup artistry, the works.
But the Bilbo nightmare face is maybe the best of it all. Because it wasn’t CGI. It wasn’t makeup artistry. It wasn’t even a mask.
They built a life-sized Ian Holm model, gave it a nightmare face, dressed it in the Bilbo costume, and put it in the shot for exactly a half second. There’s pictures (I can’t find them now, but I know they exist) of Ian Holm standing next to the model, and its uncanny insofar as it’s extremely unsettling but you can’t tell why.
Because Peter Jackson was a big beardy nutbar.
holy shit
person: quotes lord of the rings
me: quotes the next 13 minutes of dialogue
every time the lord of the rings is mentioned at the oscars im just so glad that year after year all of hollywood is forcibly reminded that the lord of the rings series won 17 oscars including best picture
Gandalf and Aragorn tag-team sassing a convalescent Merry about the location of his pack
the massive intra-Fellowship fight about how fair or unfair it is for people to be blindfolded
“DO AS YOU PLEASE IN YOUR MADNESS! I WISH TO SEE NO EYES!”
Legolas coming all the way from Mirkwood to deliver bad news and get bitched at by Glóin
Bilbo’s passive-aggressive notes to his annoying relatives
Aragorn and Éomer leaning on their swords to take a break and chat in the middle of a fight (twice)
Saruman appearing out of nowhere and harassing the Three Hunters like a DND random encounter
the disco ball/oil slick/sequin robes
basically every time Ioreth or the Master of the Houses of Healing says anything
Pippin jumping into his bath and soaking literally everyone
Bilbo’s song about Eärendil and Aragorn trying to gently point out that some topics of conversation are Sensitive
Frodo deciding that the best way to be inconspicuous is with a loud obnoxious song about when the Moon got drunk
feel free to add your own
Gimli threatening to fight Eomer to the death over which girl was the prettiest
Bilbo talking way too much at the Council of Elrond and asking for lunch while Elrond puts his diplomat face on
“i liked white better”
– legolas enthusiastically singing a song and then forgetting the rest of it – that tree that’s happy with the fire – Legolas basically bitching about how young the rest is and almost literally saying that fangorn is old as balls – Gimli breaking into song and then refusing to talk about it – Aragorn carrying around a broken sword like #aesthetic
– Aragirn throwing a hissy fit when he us asked to leave his sword outside before seeing king Theoden – Gimli waxing poetic about how absolutely beautiful the caverns beneath Helms Deep are and asking Legolas to come see them with him to which Legolas replies “I would literally rather die” – Legolas complaining about the Galadhrim’s terrible accents – Everyone being gifted with cool stuff by Galadriel except Sam who gets a box full of dirt – Saruman taking over the Shire and becoming a brutal dictator
Goldnwulf 