“It doesn’t matter.”, Relena said, upon hearing Viserys’ condolences. The young woman took a deep breath, her hand gliding over the fabric of her grown as she tried to calm herself. Queens don’t weep, queens are logical, not emotional. “He is dead, it was a foolish, childish love, and we both are married now.”, she then said, after a quiet moment, her voice and emotionless.
The raven haired woman caught the glance of the silver haired man, and let out a soft sigh as her gaze dropped, falling upon her pale hands as they held onto each other. “You haven’t forced me into anything.”, Relena pointed out, fearing what thought might be going through his head while he spoke. “Nothing in this marriage has happened because I felt forced into it. I hope you are aware of that.”, she emphasised.
Upon feeling his arms wrap around her, Relena’s body stiffened ever so slightly, for she had not expected such a reaction, after everything she had just told him, but the young woman tried her best to calm herself, in order to not upset her husband any further.
As soon as Viserys mentioned the child Relena was carrying, a pale hand came down upon her slightly swollen stomach, as she looked at the man with raised eyebrows. “Are you certain?”, Relena questioned. She could quite vividly recall the times when her mother was pregnant with Myrcella and Tommen and how little her father had cared about the whole affair. As soon as the midwives and Grand Maester Pycelle said that her time was coming close, the late king disappeared, not returning until Relena had another sibling.
“Of course, as soon as there anything to be told, I will make certain that you are informed.”, the queen promised her king. “In fact, Grand Maester Pycelle believes that the child will soon start moving… and considering his expertise, we can be certain that we will feel our child kick somewhere in between a fortnight and six moons.”
“Yes…yes we are and I…i’m glad to know that. I just have never wanted to-” He shook his head letting his words fall short as he figured what he needed to say was pointless as she already had said nothing had been forced upon her. He couldn’t hate her for her feelings, for they were for someone that had come before him and if he had ever felt a similar experience he knew she would not hold it against him and therefore he could not as well. “Yes! I want to be as involved in the pregnancy as you will allow it” Viserys exclaimed, this was his first child, their first. He wanted to be there as much as she would allow him to be and in some ways he feared in the back of his mind that she would end up like his mother and he didn’t know if he could handle not being there at every step and having her pass…Viserys would never forgive himself.
“That soon?!” He asked a hand ghosted over her belly, hovering over it uncertain about his action until he gently put his hand there, wondering if the babe would kick, kneeling down so he was at eye level with where the babe was growing. “Hey there little one. Don’t upset your mother too much alright?”
He spoke gently, a grin on his face as he imagined the babe, growing in the womb. It was then that he looked up at Relena in awe and wonderment. Here was this amazing woman and she was growing life inside her. Her body was holding another life and he couldn’t imagine how that felt. “When the time comes…do you want me there when the babe comes? Speaking of which you must need to rest…” He realized as he stood to his full height as he took his hand away and gestured to the bed “There’s been high emotions today…rest, please. I’ll see you at supper yes?”
Relena averted her eyes as she listened to Viserys’ words. What had he expected their marriage to be like? They courtship had started with them both knowing that if it failed there would be war, not the best ground for a love to blossom. For a long moment the young queen remained silent, even after her husband had told her that he would fully return to his own, till she finally spoke.
“I wanted that too…”, she suddenly mumbled, emerald eyes staring into the distance, at something that didn’t seem to be there. “I wanted to wake up in my husband’s arms, every morning. I imagined the way I would tell him that we were expecting our first child, and it certainly wasn’t by him finding me leaning over a chamber pot.”, as she said this, Relena glanced at Viserys for the briefest of moments, before her eyes drifted off again. “I always wanted a small wedding… well as small as the wedding of a princess could be… and I was this…”, she said, her head fully turning towards her husband as a pale hand rose, her index finger and thumb not even an inch apart. “…close to getting it all and then the gods decided to take him from me.”
As she thought about what had happened, all those moons ago, when all those dreams and hopes had been shattered, her eyes begin to sparkle from the wetness, as she fought against her tears. She was a queen now, queen’s didn’t cry, not when other’s could see them. “And then the gods decided to make the mockery perfect by giving me seven kingdoms and duty in return.” For a moment no sound would leave the raven haired woman’s lips, until she let out something that sounded like a frustrated laugh. “My father once said that Lyanna Stark’s death left a hole in his heart that seven kingdoms couldn’t fill, when I was younger I could never understand what that was supposed to mean… until I could…”, Relena explained, her eyes lowering to stare at the ground while she spoke.
“And I tried to give you a chance, I really did but…”, the queen began saying, her head slightly shaking, while she kept talking. “Our courtship… it was so different from what I had with him… I know it is not fair to compare you with what he did but… what I had with him… it was like those courtships in all those songs and what you and I had… it didn’t even come close… you… the courtship we had, it just… not much happened that made me fall in love with you and I don’t know if I will ever fall in love with you, but I was more than willing to be civil to you, to be kind, I did what I could to get you your lands and titles back, I was willing to call you my husband, I am even willing to die brining your child into this world and if that is not enough for you, then I cannot help you. Then I guess you will have to find love in the arms of a mistress, for at least one of us is able to do that and I will not stop you from finding love, but I do request that it doesn’t become public.”
At first he stopped, looking at her puzzled for a moment. She wanted the same thing? Then why –
And then it came out, her past, her reasons for why she was cold and distant from him and his heart ached as he watched her fight back tears. “Relena…” It was a hushed whisper of her name, trailing off as she began to speak once more, his facial features and body had begun to soften until she mentioned Robert and Lyanna and than stiffened once again. He knew they both needed to say their peace, to get their feelings out in the open but Viserys for a moment wished he could take it all back, not knowing all that he knew now. It hurt, but as she kept speaking he knew Relena was the one with a dead love while he was not.
He could never hope to be half of whatever kind of man this love was to her and as she spoke about love and than to speak of mistresses…They wanted two very different things. He wanted her and she…well, she didn’t really want him. “I could never have a mistress Relena. I vowed to be loyal to you. Even in our courtship…Relena, I am so so sorry for your loss and I wish he were here in place, you loved him very much, that is clear.” His words caught in his throat as he spoke, he wanted to say something vile and horrid to get rid of these sad feelings he had, to compare her to her father and say how he and her mother had something in common at last but he held his tongue. Wife or not she was still the Queen.
“I won’t force you to love me, I won’t force anything on you.” Viserys had glanced over at their her bed and now he feared their memory of their wedding night was to be tarnished forever and he wondered if she tried imagining their time together with someone else to bear through the ordeal. His eyes flickered back to Relena’s and he pulled her in for a hug. “I’m sorry.” He repeated over and over again, his head went from her shoulders to on top of her own head until he pulled away, a small kiss placed on her forehead as he did so and cleared his throat. “If anything happens, at all….good or bad with the babe. I want to be informed right away.”
If you are feeling very detached and disconnected from your current reality, it’s because it’s about to change. The July 27th lunar eclipse isn’t a rebirth. For a lot of people It’s a completely new life. These past few weeks have been the birthing pains.
Relena hadn’t even noticed that Viserys had left them, for as soon as the announcement was done and most lords had congratulated her, she had got involved in a conversation with the members of her small council. Once she did notice that the father to be had left, the young queen excused herself. Apparently this pregnancy had more than just one perk, for now people just smiled and nodded when she declared that she had to withdraw to her chambers. As soon as the raven haired girl opened the door to the chamber she began talking: “Where have you…”, but she stopped as soon as she heard her husband’s voice.
“Yes, I wanted to suggest the same to you this evening at supper…”, Relena mumbled as she studied Viserys’s face. “What were you doing in here?”, she questioned. There was a frown upon her forehead and her dark eyebrows were slightly raised as she looked at the silver haired man, her gaze focusing upon his eyes. “This is a blessed day, we have fulfilled our duty, we are going to give the people an heir, our marriage was successful, therefore I hope that the redness around your eyes comes from tears of joy, after all you are going to be father, doesn’t that make you happy?.”
It had been a small test, to see if she’d say no. She’d tell him to stay in their bed chamber. An he couldn’t figure out if she had passed or failed. Failed because he wanted a different answer or passed because he expected exactly the answer she gave him. Viserys gave a breathy sigh as he exhaled, meeting her gaze with his violet eyes. Doesn’t that make you happy? Her words echoed in his mind as he clenched a hand around the sheets. “Yes. It makes me happy. Beyond any expression of the word. You make me happy. Despite everything. Despite how we came to be here, despite your revulsion of me and indifference…” He could feel the old familiar feeling of rage beginning to build and he was trying hard to hold it back.
“When I first laid eyes on you I wanted nothing more than to pull you from the throne. To do whatever it took. Dany and Eddard saw another way and it worked. I hated the idea of courting you but I pushed past it, tried to accept that it would be the best and peaceful way. I only cared about one thing. That throne. But now…Now I care about two things. You, Relena and our child. I fought the growing feelings for you for months. But before I knew it I was waking every morning, happy to see your face at meals, to be around you. And when I saw you walking down in your wedding gown…”
He paused for a moment as he regained his composure “You are beautiful, but there was something almost magical about that day. When I looked at you everything else blurred.” It was than he remembered their wedding night and his fond smile turned sour and the rage came trickling out.
“I wanted to please you, to make everything as pleasant as I could for you and-and-it felt like at moments there was just a corpse instead of a person and every night that followed, it was agony wanting to pull you close to me and go to sleep, feel that bond and connection…Relena, I wanted a marriage for myself that was kind and warm. Not like my parents; abusive and forceful. Not horrid. I want–ed to hold you and wake up to seeing your face and kissing you awake. I know it’s idealistic and foolish, especially coming from me…But after getting to know you, loving you, my perspective changed. I am happy we are going to be parents, bringing in a child to the world, to raise and see grow. But I also want you to be happy because you make me happy. Duty and kingdom aside.“
He couldn’t tare his gaze away from her as he spoke, his words spilling fourth before he raised himself from the bed and tried to close off the distance between them before he reached over her to grab one of his things from the vanity. “I’ll move my things, my servant will see to it that it’s all gone by the end of today.” He informed her as he started to pull away from the proximity.
thinking about adding Tyna Lannister to my muses…I know she’s lauyrn’s mom and a complete oc and i killed her off early in lauyrn’s life but…I love her fc and i kinda want to see her life and what could have happened had she lived…
It’s paranoia that will destroy you. There is real danger in life, and you have most likely tasted it, but that’s no reason to hold a continuous defensive stance for the rest of your life. Relax, and try to let go of the notion that everyone is a danger waiting to happen. Some are, but most are not.
Viserys:
Arrogance
You might realize it, or you might not, but the fact is you think you’re better than most. You try harder and you think you deserve more. The good thing is that this flaw comes from a deep-seated belief that you can overcome anything if you set your mind to it. Keep the self-confidence, but work on the excessive pride.
Bronn:
Greed
Something inside you drives you to have more and better of everything. It pains you to see even your friends have a better quality of life than you do. But having the most possessions doesn’t necessarily make a person happy. Giving can also do that. Next time you have the urge to take, give instead.
Jory:
Indecision
You think and think and think. You torture yourself with every option, and then you usually get forced into decisions because you waited too long and your choices have faded away. Remember that you are more likely to regret what you haven’t done than what you’ve done. Next time you are given a choice, make it and move on. Regrets are inevitable.
Goldnwulf 