Traits of Suffer Bunnies

proletariangothic:

Suffer Bunnies are the other end of the pagan spectrum from Fluffy Bunnies.

They are really threatened by new age ideas for reasons that go beyond issues of racism and bad history. They are obsessed with appearance and lash out anyone who is too eccentric or not suburban middle class for them. They fancy themselves gate keepers of paganism and polytheism. They think they can tell a “Real Pagan” or a “Real Witch” by clothing and behavior. They go to extremes to subvert the Fluffy Bunny image, taking it so far that ends up being just as obnoxious and hostile.

Suffer Bunnies will:

Go on long tangents about how dark and terrifying their deities are. Sometimes they hijack conversations of people praying for good things from a deity and shoot down a persons hope. Sentiment is for clueless teenagers.

Snicker at people for not doing things they aren’t comfortable with. Like hexing, or using their own blood in spells. They associate such actions with “advanced” magic and casually suggest that people who don’t are just fearful and weak.

Have such a high esteem of experience that they automatically disregard ideas from people who haven’t been pagan long enough. The barriers of what time is enough time can change depending on how much they like a person. Woe betide a new convert that proves them wrong.

They may call out people for worshiping contradictory deities in the name of cultural appropriation. They will do this while themselves worshiping deities that are anachronistic. I’ve seen people go off on folks for mixing Egyptian and Christian iconocraphy, while themselves having alters to Hekate, Nyx, Santa Murte, and Baphomet. The contradiction isn’t what’s bugging them, the lack of misery is.

They may feel so annoyed by Fluffy Bunnies, hippies, new age, and depictions of gods as being kind and loving, that they do drastic things to distance themselves. Things that can be harmful. Like ritual self harm, feeding food with psychedelics in them to unknowing people, or putting urine or sexual secretions on items that will be used by many with little to no sanitation.

Despite this obsession with misery and darkness, Suffer Bunnies don’t like “dark” aesthetic because they see it as damaging their image. Suffer Bunnies actually like seeming a little evil, but not in any way which is embarrassing or feminine. They really don’t like pentacle jewelry, goths, flowy skirts, or renaissance fairs. They are often knee deep in business and suburbia and see this kind of eccentric behavior as childish. They are experts at making themselves “edgy, but not TOO alternative”.

They are generally a confusing mix of the most extreme and fundamentalist pagan ideas, and a veneer of western Christian ideas of “normalcy”.

You don’t have be every item on this list to be a suffer bunny, either. You just have to be incredibly obnoxious in the name of “keeping out fluff” and “correcting eclecticism”. If you recognize yourself in this list, maybe make an effort to not be such a downer before you send me hate mail.