emmafrosticle:

ok so since ive worked in a liquor store for close on 3 years now, I’ve developed this really specific habit of assigning fictional characters alcoholic headcanons.

like I can tell you what any characters drink of choice would be.

Most recently I’ve done it for star wars:

rey: would insist on buying clean skin vodka. The cheapest, bottom shelf, generic label, home brand, probably brewed in an alley behind the store, vodka. Because literally what is the difference between fifty dollar vodka and this one? It’s half the price, and it’s gonna do the job, guys! Come on! Then she proceeds to suffer through this glorified paint thinner and acts like its fantastic and isn’t burning her oesophagus as she decides to shot it to prove a point. Is a fun drunk. Is a disaster in the morning, filled with regrets, but the money she saved isn’t one of them.

Poe: He’s a beer guy, but craft beer. From a local micro-brewery that is also a bar that you’ve never heard of, but the place suddenly becomes cool in your eyes because poe dameron once said it was a ‘pretty good place’ and now everyone wants to go there. If he does spirits, he would do Jager bombs or Tequila, and would always shout a round or two for the group, plus the people he literally only just met that night, but who want to be his friends as well.

Finn: Trys really hard to enjoy beer. Especially the trendy beer that Poe drinks. But it’s awful, he hates it, it’s so bad, why does anyone want to drink malty yeast water, this is disgusting…but he usually makes a show of drinking it anyway. Secretly likes fruity berry flavoured cruisers and one time there was this margarita machine at a party he was at, and it was amazing.

Kylo Ren: Buys 5 litre boxes of wine. It doesn’t need to taste good, it needs to get him drunk. Has no scope to what his limits are, and gets white boy wasted in the messiest way. No one wants to party with him because he’s either gonna start a fight with someone or start crying or both, all while clutching the loose foil bag of wine in his arms. The party wild card. Also in the habit of sticking his fingers down his throat when he’s completely wasted and knows he needs to be sick. The pain makes him stronger.

Phasma: ten Jager bombs in a row, just try and fuckin take her in a drinking match, she will destroy you.

Hux: Pinot grigio. Embraces wine mom culture.